Jackisms

 

For those who don't follow me on Facebook (and why wouldn't you?  I'm a delight!), here is a compilation of the Jackisms I've posted over the years.  I know it doesn't begin at #1, but that's only because it wasn't the first amusing thing he said so I started with a random number.

 

 

You have no idea how much I've been laughing just now reading over the list.

 

 

 

Jackism #25:  Me:  Jack, what do you want for Christmas?

Jack: Lots of assorted metals.

 

 

Jackism #26 Me: Why don't you like English muffins?
Jack McMazing Funk: They aren't muffins.
Me: I know, they are ENGLISH muffins.
Jack: Well then, English people suck.

 

 

 

Jackism #27
Addie: Why are they called shish kabobs?
Jack McMazing Funk: Because they were invited in Shishkabonia.

 

 

Jackism #28: I don't like musicals. They kill people and cause bad breath.

 

 

 

Jackism #29: I'll be a great driver. I'm really good at Mario Kart.

 

 

Jackism #30: Me: Hey, Jack. Do you know if the gym is open tomorow?
Jack McMazing Funk: No, I don't think so. Well, maybe. I'm not really sure. Possibly. Yeah, it is.

 

 

Jackism #31: These fries are too salty. It's drying out my organs. I think my liver is shriveled up like a raisin.

 

 

Jackism #32: I am prepared to be the leader of the Ginger Apocalypse.

 

 

Jackism #33: I am really sneaky. You have no idea how many cookies I can actually eat when you aren't looking.

 

 

Jackism #34: "I think I snapped my spine." - said after stuffing his 6' tall frame into one of those enclosed spiral slippery slides at a park.

 

 

Jackism #35: Jack McMazing Funk: Don't bite me.
Me: I'm not going to bite you. I don't know where you've been.
Jack: I think I taste like Tofu

 

 

Jackism #36: Jack McMazing Funk: Where are your plants? Did someone steal them?
Me: Yes. Someone broke in, stole nothing of value except my little plants, and only took them as far as the front yard.
Jack: They also messed up my room.

 

 

Jackism #37 (at a wedding reception after greeting the bride and groom and eating his treats): Well, I'm going home now. There's nothing left for me here, and now it's just awkward.

 

 

Jackism #38: Addie: What's the capital of Illinois?
Jack McMazing Funk: Chicago . . . No, Maryland.

 

 

Jackism #39: (while playing Jenga) "I'm just toying with you now because obviously you are going to lose."

 

 

Jackism #40: We need a firepole in front of the toilet so I can get to the kitchen faster.

 

 

Jackism #41: (I asked him to kill a big spider in my laundry room) That was a good kill! You should add that to my Epic Kill List. I really do have one.

 

 

Jackism #42: Sorry, I don't speak Foreign.

 

 

Jackism #43: Turtlenecks are for lonely people.

 

 

Jackism #44: Paper doesn't taste good. I don't know why people eat it.

 

 

Jackism #45: Me: Do we still have mashed potatoes for shepherds pie?
Jack McMazing Funk: No I ate them.
Me: All of them?
Jack: Yes. I had some Friday, some more Saturday, and the rest I ate this morning for breakfast.

 

 

Jackism #46: Me: How was Reality Town today? (an activity at the Jr. High)
Jack McMazing Funk: Fun. I had $2000 left over so I bought a walrus.

 

 

Jackism #47: (while watching the animated classic Santa Claus is Coming to Town) “Wow. Mrs Claus really let herself go."

 

Jackism #48: (defending his horribly messy room) The floor is part of my storage system.

 

Jackism #49: Me: Really? Is that what you meant to say to me?
Jack McMazing Funk: No, that's not what I meant. You're very pretty. And young.

 

 

And as to why he's called Jack McMazing Funk - I'm not sure of the entire story, but it is my understanding that the name was given to him by one of his youth leaders -  perhaps Dr. Doyle? - in a moment of jocularity.  He liked it so well, he has adopted it as a permanent name. 

 

Jack is our main source of entertainment around here.  I don't know what we'll do when he leaves home.  :(