Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Another Jackism List

I realized that I have acquired many more Jackisms since I last made a list, so this brings us up to current.  (See original Jackism list February 22, 2013).  I really have to wonder what he says when I'm NOT around.  :)

This list also includes a Laneism and a Taylorism.


Jackism #50: Me: Jack, when you find yourself in a hole it's best to just stop digging. 
Jack: Not if you have a jetpack.

Jackism #51: I like smiling. But I don't care for the other emotions.

Jackism #52: (while watching Return of the Jedi) The stormtroopers really need to upgrade their armor. It's extremely ineffective.

Jackism #53: Dots and licorice aren't movie food. You wanna know what IS movie food? Tacos.

Jackism #54: (spelling is not Jack's super power)
Me: How do you spell "hors d'oeuvers"?
Jack: Eu . . . 
Me: Eu?
Jack: Yeah, because they are French.
Me: So what?
Jack: France is in Europe. Europe starts with "Eu." Duh.

Jackism #55: My milkshake tastes like magic and sunshine.

Jackism #56: I want bongos for Christmas.

Jackism #57: Me: You need to call Brother Merrill.
Jack: He's not home. I just saw him drive by in his car, and he was headed Orem-ly.

Jackism #58:  (Jack's Facebook account got hacked: For any one who saw the picture that was shared on my profile, i am sorry i think my facebook has been hacked because ive not been on since saturday and I didn't share that gross picture 
Ive changed my password and uped computer security sorry
so heres a picture of gandalf

Jackism #58: This song is terrible. I can feel my IQ dropping. (The song was Need a Little Love by Depeche Mode)

Jackism #59: (when we passed his history teacher riding a bike while we were out for our nightly walk) Well, that was a big bag of awkward.

Jackism #60: Jack: Oooooh! Steak!! (leftovers in the fridge)
Me: Hey! We're going to be having a big dinner in a little while, you know.
Jack: I know. That's why I'm just eating one steak.

Jackism #61: Me: What if the girl you marry isn't as nerdy as you?
Jack: Then I'll have a lot of explaining to do.

Jackism #62: Jack: Can I borrow your (portable) speaker?
Me: No. You never bring it back.
Jack: Please! Please let me borrow your speaker.
Me? Will you bring it back?
Jack: Probably not.

Jackism #63: Lane: Who ate all my Oreo's?
Jack: I ate the last 7 in the package.
Me: You ate 7 Oreo's?
Jack: No. It was actually 10.

Jackism #64: Me: I'm coming upstairs.
Jack: Don't come yet. I have something on my floor.
Me: Something? Only one thing? What is that "one" thing?
Jack: All of my clothes.

Jackism #65: (at parent teacher conference)
English Teacher: You are doing very well. Let's discuss your skill set.
Jack: I can't spell. I'll just put that out there now.

Jackism #64: (me trying to get a reluctant Jack to help me string lights on the tree)
Me: A Scout does not procrastinate.
Jack: A Scout also knows his limitations. And that is not in the oath.
Me: Ok, a Scout is helpful.
Jack: I'll be helpful tomorrow.

Jackism #65: Me: name the 7 dwarves. 
Jack: Sleepy. . . Dopey . . . Biscuit . . .

Jackism #66: What's that smell? It smells like broken dreams.

Jackism #67: Jack: when is dinner? I'm starving. 
Me: didn't you have a snack after school?
Jack: yeah, but I only had 4 eggs and 2 sandwiches.

Jackism #68: Me: Here, Jack. Try my new [ball] massager.
Jack:  But balls don't feel good . . . I should have worded that better.

Jackism #69: Lane: Pour out this lemonade and fill the glass with milk.
Jack: Ewww NO!! You can't cross-cup!

Jackism #70: Apricots are just disappointing peaches.

Jackism #71: I hate this song, but I can't turn it off. It's like the train wreck of songs.

Jackism #72: Lane: Jack, don't eat it all. I want to have a piece later.

Jackism #73: look at this action figure. I can make him twerk.

Jackism #74: Me: You just cut off that car!
Jack: I'm sorry! That's what happens when I'm driving while hungry!

Jackism #75: Chubby's is not centrally located. It's left-eastern.

Taylorism: Me: what operating system is on your laptop?
Taylor: Toshiba.

Laneism: Addie: what city is Jane (from Tarzan) from?
Lane: Pittsburgh

Jackism #76: I asked Jack to make new folders on the computer for music I just downloaded. He made 2 folders and named them Gumflangle and Shibbityboo.

Jackism #77: I need a drink. And by drink, I mean a banana.

Jackism #78: Did they just kill Henry Blake? That really sucks.

Jackism #79: Addie: (looking at a baby picture of Jack) what happened to that birthmark on your head?
Jack: it's on my leg now.

Jackism #80: I always do better at this game (trivia crack) when I'm on the toilet.